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The last plate

The weather took a turn and it felt right, you could feel the humidity rise and it became a hot a sticky drive down to Brighton. You really have to trust your instincts and go with the flow, even though it was overcast and dull in Essex, who knows what it would be like when…

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Into the West

Who Am I, is that question in life that often arises during times questioning our place in the world. For me I have always struggled with identity. Born of Irish parents in England, told by some I am Irish and other English, or British, these questions always have made me question who I am. In…

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The Bodhisattva

I had been told about this WW2 Mine station on the mouth of the Crouch Estuary, so I had a look on Google maps and set of for Burnham-on Crouch. I decided to park up at the Royal Corinthian Yacht Club and walk from there along the sea wall. What appeared on Google maps not…

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Railways in the Netherlands

This is where I thrash. Crap attack? Don’t have one? I guess she doesn’t like wearing clothes. Please don’t tell Mom and Dad. Dr. Yap, once I was into you, but after seeing you torture my father, I think we should just be friends with dental benefits. Brr, it sure is cold in here. I…

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Jerry The Dog

We can make this work. We can work out a dating wheel, just like a chore wheel. Let’s put the try in triangle. Argh!… Wait, I like the library. I texted back a smiley face. She texted back some letters I don’t understand. Yeah it’s an acquired taste. That I just acquired. YOU GORGEOUS IDIOT!…

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Dear Diary: Tonight I’m sneaking off to the abandoned taffy factory to look for treasure. Also, if boys had uteruses, they’d be called duderuses. My crotch is itchy. There’s someone behind the milk. Maybe it’s the dairy fairy. Ugg, my heart just pooped its pants. Not if you’re a fish. The hand wants what the…

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The Effect of Urbanization

I can’t tell where your back ends and your butt begins. Everyone touched each other’s butts, and it was great. I guess she doesn’t like wearing clothes. Just when I think I’m out, those cheeks pull me right back in. My boob? Sausage leather belts. This is where I thrash. Butts. Let’s raise our glasses!…

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Bambi in Real Life

If I drunk text you and you’re asleep, don’t text me in the morning…that ship has sailed. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh You had me at horses, but then you lost me at corpses. I’m out of control. Buns…sen. Buns…sen. I had no idea there was so much butt touching in baseball. Thank you zombie boyfriends. I’m out of…

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Massey Hall

I’ll wave at you every day. He did? That’s the sleaziest, sneakiest, most romantic thing anyone’s ever done to me. You’re right. I’m a firestarter and a jinx. I’m going to destroy this whole family. This is where I thrash. Buns…sen. I’m gonna write the most erotic, graphic, freakiest friend fiction ever. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Chad the…

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Manon’s Trip

How do you know a python ate it? Did it leave a note? I had no idea there was so much butt touching in baseball. My crotch is itchy. You won’t regret it, dad. When I kiss Jimmy Jr. under the disco ball, it’ll be like we’re all kissing Jimmy Jr under the disco ball.…

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Thank you zombie boyfriends. So I think I’m being attacked by zombies and I start screaming, ‘Do you wanna make out?’ And I make out with it. Gene, you saved us. I owe you my life. Everyone touched each other’s butts, and it was great. This is such a snore-gasm. Do you think horses get…

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Russian Steppe

Dad, you’re the best pimp a girl could ever have. He did? That’s the sleaziest, sneakiest, most romantic thing anyone’s ever done to me. I had no idea there was so much butt touching in baseball. I’m not spooked. What’s the next thing after spooked? I’m that. Do you think horses get songs stuck in…

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